Unavoidable Meetings...

Posted on Wed Jul 6th, 2011 @ 2:31am by Lieutenant Elizabeth Lynn & Lieutenant Commander Sara Archer

Mission: The Fate of the Swiftsure
Location: USS Iapetus - Chief Counselor's Office
Timeline: MD2 1435 hrs

In the review of the documents provided by Lieutenant Junior Grade Duvall, it was odd to see that of all the senior staff, Lieutenant Commander Sara Archer was the only one who never received a formal evaluation. While not overly unusual of a junior counselor to be a bit on the intimidated side when dealing with senior members of the crew, it was nonetheless a discrepancy that Elizabeth would have to correct.

"Lieutenant Lynn to Commander Archer," Liz said after tapping her combadge.

Sara was on her way back to her office from the bridge when she stopped in her tracks. Any time someone from the medical staff contacted her, it was always the same story. She was due for some asinine evaluation of some sort. Pages from counselors were always the worst. She tapped her commbadge. "Archer here. Go ahead, Lieutenant."

"I need to speak with you, is there anywhere you can meet me? My office, yours, anywhere private will do," Liz explained her reason for contacting her.

"Your office will be fine. I'll there in a moment." Anything to keep her out of Sara's office. Tapping her commbadge again, Sara found the nearest turbolift. "Deck 10."

Chief Counselor's Office

Sara stepped through the sliding doors to find the new counselor at her desk. All she could think about was how soon she could get this over with. "You wanted to see me, Counselor?"

"Yes, please sit down," Liz indicated a chair, and not the famed 'couch' that most people had associated with the profession from centuries of tradition, "I've been sifting through the records and I've noticed a discrepancy of sorts... mainly that you don't have one. Care to tell me why?"

Sara remained standing. "My official records with Starfleet show that I have a satisfactory mental heath record. I do not have an evaluation on file with the Iapetus because I did not deem it necessary."

"And would you not show up for your annual medical physical either if you didn't think you needed one?" Liz asked as she leaned back in her chair, "Look... I know there are plenty of people in this world that think my job is pointless. You don't need help with your problems, you have a handle on your feelings and so on and so forth. And you know, most people that think that way are probably right... Trouble is, I still have to see for myself so I can sign off on your continuing fitness report. Just like you have things you have to do as part of your duties, so do I. This is one of them, making you sit there and tell me you're fine and you'd rather be doing something else with your time."

The Lt. Commander knew that arguing with this one was not going to be easy. "Lieutenant, I never said that I think your job is pointless. I'm sure there are a lot of people who need your help. I'm not one of them." She moved around the chair and took a seat. "I assure you, I am fine. My feelings do not have any affect on my duties."

"You know, I said that very same thing just today before I nearly burst into tears in front of someone I didn't even know. You can't predict when something is going to break free and take control of you. I pride myself on being a very in control person... but if even I can have a moment of total vulnerability, there's nothing stopping you from having one as well... and you might not be lucky and do it in a corridor here on the ship... Heavens forbid you have one out in the field..." Liz countered.

"Lieutenant, the worst emotions I have ever felt, or will ever feel, happened in the field. The mission always comes first." Sara remained seated, not saying any more. She continued to look across the desk, deep in thought. She had so many thoughts in her head, but she didn't want to share them. She couldn't share them. If she couldn't keep something personal to herself, how could she keep state secrets to herself?

"Actually, if you don't take care of the people who run those missions, Commander, you won't have much hope of seeing them done. Every good leader knows that people are just as important as the mission. Take Starfleet for instance; the more responsibilities they place on someone, the higher their position, the harder their job, the more amenities they grant them. This isn't simply because they are entitled to them. You and I both know that we got by just as well when we had roommates and shared facilities and so forth as we do now. The real reason for all of the perks to the job is to allow us some measure of escape, a spot of respite from the turmoil of our lives so that we can decompress and refocus ourselves each night to start the day anew," Liz explained, getting up from her chair to pace the floor like she used to do in her classrooms.

"Telling yourself that everything is fine... Constantly building those walls, that fortress around your emotions and thoughts and problems doesn't do what you think it does. My father once read me something years ago; A wise man once said that the lesson of building walls was not learned from our enemies, but our friends. If you apply it to your own personal mental barriers, it would stand to reason that you've built those walls... that fortress of solitude and detachment from the living world because of some trauma you suffered at one point in your life in which you had no coping mechanism. I won't pretend to know what that was, and I'm not going to ask you to just throw it all out there for me right now... we can work on it later in regular sessions. The point is, you did it to yourself to protect against some imagined assault from the outside. It was simply justification for doing it, nothing more. There are no monsters clawing at the walls, no armies storming the ramparts of your emotional citadel... Just you, alone, trapped within yourself..." Liz continued before pausing to gauge her comprehension and reaction to what was being said.

Sara sat motionless. This was part of the reason she didn't like counselors, especially good ones. More often than not, they were probably right. Sara had built up those walls to cope with the loss she had seen in her life. Not only had she lost both of her parents in the line of duty, but what happened on Torga IV just proved to be the straw that broke the camel's back. She swore to herself then and there that she wouldn't let anyone else in. Her heart had been broken too many times. Emotional attachment only seemed to invite more despair. She knew that it wasn't healthy, but the risk of losing more people she cared about was far worse, at least in Sara's mind. Her justification was that it did not affect her job performance. And as long she kept telling herself that, it was going to be hard to get through to her.

As these thoughts raced through her mind, Sara only nodded. "I will consider you opinion, Counselor." Despite her best attempts, however, Sara and Elizabeth both knew that was a lie. The intelligence officer still felt that her solution was the best, regardless of what the professional therapist suggested.

"Right... well I'm not going to give you that option. I can already tell by the way you're sitting there that you have no desire or will to listen or to work on anything I've just talked about. That wall you built is pretty plain to see... at least for me. Hate to say it but I've seen that look plenty of times before. In fact, when I was a resident at Starfleet Medical, I had a patient that had suffered a very horrendous experience with an away mission. His walls collapsed on him and he didn't exactly fare well because of it. I think every counselor on our floor had given up on him, and if it weren't for the fact that I'm as stubborn as my mother, I might have as well." the Lieutenant recounted as she leaned back in her chair.

"It took me nearly a year to find a way in, but I finally did. I got him to crawl out of the rubble of his emotional walls and find a way to cope with the tragic deaths that he had seen and been part and party to. And, having kept in touch, I can tell you that he's happily married, has a three year old son, and is a very well adjusted person. Am I promising you that I can give you the same peace and sense of adjustment? No... But I don't plan to let you give up on life just because it's a little hard to deal with sometimes," the half-Klingon said bluntly.

She pulled out a PADD and began making a few notations, "I'm ordering you to weekly therapy sessions. Go ahead and try to skip out on me if you want. I'm not like that Duvall girl... I can and will hunt you down and make you talk about your feelings. I also have the authority... and I do enjoy using it on my more difficult patients... to remove you from duty status. Don't believe I will, just call back to Starfleet Medical, ask them how many Admirals have missed days of duty because they were on my schedule rotation and decided they were too good to show up. We'll go 'round and 'round for as long as it takes until you submit to the help given."

Liz finished making her notations and set the PADD down, "Before your next session, I want you to think about what it is that scares you the most about dealing with your issues. Before we can even skirt the real issues of what's wrong, we need to get you over why you don't want to. Unless you have anything else, Ms. Archer, I think that will do us for this week."

Sara stared Lynn down. They both knew that neither wanted to back down. Sara hated when someone dictated to her. Being given orders for a mission was one thing, but being told that she wasn't feeling correctly was a different matter entirely. The only problem was that Lynn did have the necessary authority as a medical officer to remove Sara from duty, despite Sara being a superior officer. Lieutenant Commander Archer rarely pulled rank, and she didn't like it when someone did it to her. "Very well, Lieutenant. I think this will be a waste of time for both of us, but I'll humor you for now." Sara stood. "Now if you will excuse me, I should get back to my work."

"If you want to call it humoring, go right ahead," Elizabeth shot back, "But I will see you in a week. And don't forget your homework. That will be the first thing we discuss."

Sara nodded without a word and turned for the door. She could already tell this new counselor was going to get under her skin. It never even occurred to her that this was exactly what she needed.

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Lt. Commander Sara Archer
Chief Intelligence Officer
USS Iapetus

Lieutenant Elizabeth Lynn
Chief Counselor
USS Iapetus