Just Like Mom Used to Make...

Posted on Sun Jul 31st, 2011 @ 7:37am by Lieutenant Commander Zim Drex & Lieutenant Elena Valdez

Mission: The Fate of the Swiftsure
Location: Mess Hall
Timeline: MD06 1800hrs

-Iapetus at impulse, close shot-

Cut to: Ridge Lounge, Crew bustling between duty shifts, taking meals. Bowls of steaming dishes.

"Computer, one Bolian Souffle. A dash of Paprika." Drex rubbed his hands together in anticipation as he stood in front of the replicator terminal.

"That dish is not in this ship's culinary database."

The reply turned his expression awry, and he grumbled. "It's always the new ships...Display ordering parameters and begin new file, Drex 1."

"Uh, is this going to take a while?" Came a voice from behind, curtly with a tap on the blue-grey shoulder of his uniform.

Drex turned, pointing two fingers at the Astrometrics Lieutenant. "Hennesey, It has been six weeks since I've enjoyed fine cuisine, and I intend to indulge myself, okay?" He swiveled back. "Ingredients... Three egg yolks and whites, seperated, aged four weeks. Four Rigelian fire peppers...Fifteen ounces boiled, curdled milk, also aged four weeks..."

Hennesey was tall and wiry, with a nose most of the Science personnel referred to as 'The Iapetus' second saucer'. His sandy brown hair had a streak of grey, and was starting to thin in the usual places. His face turned slightly pale at the descriptions, and his brow wrinkled to creases. "You actually eat that stuff? Ugh." He looked as if he was going to be sick.

Holding his gut, he spotted the CMO walking in, He promptly waved to her. "Hey doc! I've got a Medical Emergency over here!"

Elena jostled her way through the mess hall to the green-faced science officer and the blue-faced Bolian. "Someone get dared to eat gagh again?" It had happened three times that week already, to Elena's amusement.

Hennesey held his stomach. "The Engineer over there is making something in the replicator that should only exist in Starfleet Medical database..."

"Is that all?" Trying not to smile, the doctor retrieved a first aid med kit from a wall near the mess hall exit. She popped the tricorder out of its foam cradle and began running a quick scan of Lt. Hennesey's gastrointestinal tract. There was an overabundance of stomach acid- the fellow should really start eating better- but other than that, the science officer's nausea was not the result of any physical malady. She wanted to take a scan of the Bolian, too, as this was the first she'd encountered in person; was he just as blue on the inside? But first things first.

"Well gentlemen, there seems to be no problem here other than a weak stomach. I do, however, know of something that may help." Elena turned towards the replicator for a moment. "Tea, hot - one part Zingiber officinalis, one part Matricaria recutita, one part Glycyrrhiza glabra root."

Hennesey was looking just as annoyed as he was nauseated. "Tea? You went to Starfleet medical and you give me tea?"

Elena smiled her best doctor-patronizing-a-patient smile. "The tea is only part of your prescription, Lieutenant. If you are put off your feed so easily as this you may have some anxiety issues. I recommend a trip to the Counselor's office as well."

The cup of steaming liquid materialized, and Elena handed it to the science officer. She turned next to the Bolian. "Would you like a cup as well? It's not just for sour stomachs - ginger tea is tasty stuff, to humans at least."

Drex looked over from the screen at his replicator and made a face. "Ginger tea tastes as bland to me as oatmeal." He goes on to explain. "We Bolians are made of tougher stuff, so as a result, we need cuisine that is usually five times stronger than hasparat, just to taste the stuff...Computer..."

The terminal responded with a couple of beeps.

"One more tablespoon of cumin and serve order as current." He said, leaning back a little to speak over his shoulder.

"Working..." The computer replied. "Allocating additional power reserves..."

Drex gave a quick nod, as if that was normal replicator operation.

A whirr and hum of the replicator as it activated. As energy itself fused into matter, the concoction presented looked like a simple souffle with a fluffed up whipped shell. As the steam visibly radiated from within, so came the foul odor. It wafted around the dish like a slithering snake, and then spread around the galley air, allowing its rancid nature to accost the dining crewmates in an outward proximity.

As the whiff of steam drifted by Elena she had to work hard not to scrunch up her nose in distaste. Being a doctor, she was well acquainted with less than pleasant smells. Gangrenous wounds, for example, smelled horrible...and yet this was infinitely worse. Elena switched to breathing through her mouth, which she instantly regretted, since now she could taste the odor as well as smell it.

"Just like mom used to make. One steaming hot Bolian Souffle!" Drex beamed proudly. One red-collared Ensign was already making his way for the exit with a napkin covering his nose.

"Oh my...It smells like...Like..." Hennesey started.

"You want a bite?" Drex offered. By now, a quarter of the mess hall was grumbling and looking over at the Bolian and his rank smelling concoction.

"There's no way in hell tea is going to help with this," muttered Elena, caught between amusement and annoyance.

Drex's communicator pin chirped. "Engineering to Lieutenant Drex. Sir, I'm detecting a minor fluctuation in the life support system near the mess hall. Should I send a team to check it out?"

Elena took the liberty of answering for Drex. "Engineering, this is Dr. Valdez. We should have it sorted out in a minute."

She turned to the Bolian with an eyebrow raised and a hand over her nose. "Lieutenant....Drex, is it?"

Drex dipped the spoon back into the dish and stuck out his stout blue hand to give her a firm handshake. "Zim Drex, Chief Engineer. Pleasure to meet you Doctor Valdez. I remember beaming you onboard with the others just before leaving for the Delta quadrant."

With fingers pinching her nose tightly closed, Elena sounded less like a doctor and more like a character from a kid's holo program. "I understand the need to eat authentic foods from home; personally, I can't eat Mexican food unless it's made by an actual Mexican. However, it seems that delicacies from your world are having an adverse effect on the rest of us. Would you mind terribly taking it to your quarters?"

As usual, Drex had been mostly ignorant to the reactions of the crew regarding his food., until the Doctor pointed out their reactions. He started to look a little hurt by the request, and a little embarrassed.

By now most people had run for the hills, leaving the mess hall largely empty. Hennesey was still there, mainly just to be an ass. A few stalwart ensigns were still around as well, apparently playing an olfactory version of 'chicken', although Elena suspected they'd be gone soon judging by their green faces.

"Well, I guess you don't need to go to your quarters after all," she added in her pinched-nose squeaky voice. "However, it would be best to stay in your rooms next time you get the urge to whip up another of your mother's recipes."

He raised his spoon to respond, but blue lights began to flicker on the panels around the messhall. "Noxious gasses detected. Evacuate messhall."

With a huff, Drex turned toward the replicator. "Computer." He shoveled one last spoonful into his mouth as the terminal chimed in response. "Disposal."

A shimmering swirl of energy took the souffle up into nothingness once more.

"Life Support Restored." The computer said.

"Yeah yeah." Drex said with a snort.